a flash under the sheets.
hand picturing another that once wrote.
everything impossible to disclose
pierced by the mind.
maybe something exciting
like a crack, like a breath
melody in blind system.
wrists dragged on hands
organ music; stomach hole.
vomits the bed, the suffocating silence.
she knows, the nurse will tell her off, and rings the bell;
she aches for someone to keep coming.
what happened was words
her mind blossoms on a wire.
she slowly moves her broken hip,
a true woodpecker,
present in the ceremony, festive,
she wears a white Victorian dress.
(her father dancing before the window.
her brother dictating the rhythm.
not a step missed, her mother singing,
and everything is jubilant),
so jubilant without me
what I cannot see
they call bliss
(tormenting steps and off-key voices around a receiver,
one word – s’ wet – and all is darkened once again.
pupil addicted to colours
something impossible to utter